i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
