I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
