I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
40s are totally the cure
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
