If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
