Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
