And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
