Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
