she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
