Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
