do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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