Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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