if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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