I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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