he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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