Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
third nipple confirmed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
