Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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