I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
