Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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