Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
