I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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