so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We had sex on a dog bed..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
