Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
