kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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