What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize