It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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