and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
