there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
