I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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