yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
