Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
