she looked like the before picture.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize