I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
