please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
