Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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