I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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