I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize