Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
