What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
