Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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