You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
