It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
