i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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