so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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