he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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