you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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