I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
