drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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