You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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