I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
