i was born a porn star she said
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
