I want to make a zoo with you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
