New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
