i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
MIDGETS
????
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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