He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
