He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
