he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
