I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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