I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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