Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
