butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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