My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
