She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
