No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
