Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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