Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
