that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
