No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
