I must be too annoying 4 u.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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