why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
