how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
