Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
