So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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